One of our regular customers that I haven't seen since we moved from one location, Ms. Penny, once gave me an old-fashioned bookmark for Christmas. I'd never had such and was thrilled, but I also was afraid to use it. so there it has sat in the black velveteen box doing nothing but looking pretty. It is a burnished golden metal shaped almost like a narrow Shepherd's Staff. The narrow staff parts sets between the pages. The hook curles over the spine. From that hook dangles a flower-shaped golden oval, appearing almost as a locket, with a small red stone set in the middle of each side. Hanging delicately from the bottom are two tufts of silky, red tassels.
I've never even thought to use it until now.
It matches "The Mistress of Trevelyan" quite beautifully. I'm so silly, but I'm looking forward to showing Mrs. St. Giles' daughter.
Not many, especially those of us in our twenties, can appreciate the beauty of such simple things.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
Jennifer St. Giles
You have to check out this author's work and blogspot (jenniferstgiles.blogspot.com/). Some people need to have a little more guts before they begin checking out the conpetetion. I found it helpful and encouraging...yes, even a little feareful. If I want to write at all, then this should be what I'm doing. Not only is Mrs. Giles's daughter a wonderful young woman and friend of mine, But Mrs. Giles is a nice lady and a wonderful storyteller. "Mistress of Trevelyen" is the one I just began by her (and I read "Lure of the Wolf" in the past and need to reread it). It won the Daphne du Maurier award and even only on page 3 I'm blown away. If you enjoyed du Maurier's "Rebeeca" and "Frenchman's Creeek" your love the style of "Mistress of Trevelyan"! The ambiance, the tone, the voice...it all brings it to life! Step back into 1873 San Francisco and enjoy!!!!
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Mixing my faith and my passions
I'm a Christian. My faith is my everything. My foundation. The only thing I put my trust into.
And I'm also goth, love things paranormal (mainly vampires and shape-shifters), and deal with issues such as Human Trafficking, self-injury, depression, sexual abuse/assault, domestic violence, PTSD, and dissociative disorders.
I write about the issues above as well as (currently what I'm focusing on) paranormal subjects.
I'm actually working on creating a Christian Paranormal Fiction series.
My problem is how to integrate such seemingly often opposing subjects.
Also I've always felt lead to have my writing published in the secular market, just with Christian characters and values and "clean."
My problem with most in the Christian market is that too often they are not realistic in that they are so clean and so careful not to step on any toes that it looses a lot IMHO. A few exceptions I have found are Linda Windsor and Ruth Axtell Morren.
Then I also want to write about such heavy issues, that I don't think should be toned down in the hopes of not being too upsetting. But these issues are upsetting and sugar coating them does survivors of such an injustce.
But how do you integrate a strong Christian theme/message/characters into the secular market and not come across "preachy"?
Either way it goes...secular or Christian publication...will be a challenge.
I'm still working on how I'm going to work these vampires and werewolves of my current WIPs into a Christian message.
It is not the easist thing to do...but I love my faith and love paranormal stories too much to not work this out.
And I'm also goth, love things paranormal (mainly vampires and shape-shifters), and deal with issues such as Human Trafficking, self-injury, depression, sexual abuse/assault, domestic violence, PTSD, and dissociative disorders.
I write about the issues above as well as (currently what I'm focusing on) paranormal subjects.
I'm actually working on creating a Christian Paranormal Fiction series.
My problem is how to integrate such seemingly often opposing subjects.
Also I've always felt lead to have my writing published in the secular market, just with Christian characters and values and "clean."
My problem with most in the Christian market is that too often they are not realistic in that they are so clean and so careful not to step on any toes that it looses a lot IMHO. A few exceptions I have found are Linda Windsor and Ruth Axtell Morren.
Then I also want to write about such heavy issues, that I don't think should be toned down in the hopes of not being too upsetting. But these issues are upsetting and sugar coating them does survivors of such an injustce.
But how do you integrate a strong Christian theme/message/characters into the secular market and not come across "preachy"?
Either way it goes...secular or Christian publication...will be a challenge.
I'm still working on how I'm going to work these vampires and werewolves of my current WIPs into a Christian message.
It is not the easist thing to do...but I love my faith and love paranormal stories too much to not work this out.
Writing Styles
I adore that which is different, unique, unusual. That includes writing styles.
I was captivated, when in English, we read Anne Bradstreet's poem "Upon the Burning of Our House" (I believe that is the correct title). The way she worded her poem was unusual. Words switched around in order that meant the same but in a way not how most people would arrange them. Except I often do that, so I was ecstatic to find myself not alone in that quirky instance. I go around actually using words such as "alas," "methinks," and "thus".
I was captivated by Daphne du Maurier's Rebecca and Frenchman's Creek. Again, they are written in a manner not typical, at least in modern times and especially not American writing. Also, if you get the chance, check out Hitchcock's version of Rebecca and Mobile Masterpiece Theatre's version of Frenchman's Creek. They rock.
Now I finally picked up Elizabeth Peters' first Amelia Peabody book, Crocodile On the Sandbank, and I'm delighted again by her writing. I should give some examples but basically one aspect that sets it apart is that it is British and I believe it is set around the Victorian era. Which is a time period that fascinates me.
By the way, Amanda Quick (aka Jayne Anne Krentz and Jayne Castle) writes some awesome Regency era Romances that also have a good amount of mystery in them. Other authors that write many books set in that time period are Mary Balogh, Johanna Lindsay, Jacquie D'allessandro, Julia Quinn, Jo Beverly, and there are several more but my mind is drawing a blank.
Does anyone else have any suggestions of other writers I should check out?
I was captivated, when in English, we read Anne Bradstreet's poem "Upon the Burning of Our House" (I believe that is the correct title). The way she worded her poem was unusual. Words switched around in order that meant the same but in a way not how most people would arrange them. Except I often do that, so I was ecstatic to find myself not alone in that quirky instance. I go around actually using words such as "alas," "methinks," and "thus".
I was captivated by Daphne du Maurier's Rebecca and Frenchman's Creek. Again, they are written in a manner not typical, at least in modern times and especially not American writing. Also, if you get the chance, check out Hitchcock's version of Rebecca and Mobile Masterpiece Theatre's version of Frenchman's Creek. They rock.
Now I finally picked up Elizabeth Peters' first Amelia Peabody book, Crocodile On the Sandbank, and I'm delighted again by her writing. I should give some examples but basically one aspect that sets it apart is that it is British and I believe it is set around the Victorian era. Which is a time period that fascinates me.
By the way, Amanda Quick (aka Jayne Anne Krentz and Jayne Castle) writes some awesome Regency era Romances that also have a good amount of mystery in them. Other authors that write many books set in that time period are Mary Balogh, Johanna Lindsay, Jacquie D'allessandro, Julia Quinn, Jo Beverly, and there are several more but my mind is drawing a blank.
Does anyone else have any suggestions of other writers I should check out?
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Gaping Wounds
That is what I see when I look at my WIP. It was made even more clear when a friend and ex-coworker (whose mom has several paranormal romances published btw) asked what I was currently working on...and I bumbled my way through this very uninteresting, who-really-cares summary.
So what now?
Put it aside? Keep praying fanatically for direction? Keep writing and pray that the holes will start filling in?
I've got, I'm sure, 20 stories started or at least outlined, that have come to me since I began writing. But I always hit a wall or another idea taskes shape and I go off chasing the new one. I'm never going to get anywhere like that.
So I'm not quite sure how best to handle this.
Any other writers care to tell me what you have done in such instances?
So what now?
Put it aside? Keep praying fanatically for direction? Keep writing and pray that the holes will start filling in?
I've got, I'm sure, 20 stories started or at least outlined, that have come to me since I began writing. But I always hit a wall or another idea taskes shape and I go off chasing the new one. I'm never going to get anywhere like that.
So I'm not quite sure how best to handle this.
Any other writers care to tell me what you have done in such instances?
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Ready. Set. Go.
I'm at a hard place right now. I'm failing and stumbling and consumed with doubts, fears and self-hatred.
And yet, I have to look up. I have to start moving again. I have to start LIVING.
One thing I am struggling with is writing. I've never really had many doubts about writing. Now suddenly I'm consumed with such. It's unnerving. But I have to look past it.
I once read something about writing not always being fun or easy but being right. That is so true. So why have I let myself go with writing so little. Well for one, writing takes a lot of effort. Especially when I end up writing about psycologically heavy issues which is so often. I end up feeling too much. So I allowed myself to pull away.
My mom said she used to try to get me to play with Barbies but I refused, but then whe I did start I became obsessed. I continued playing with them in middle school even. I am greatful for my cousin Tammy for the way we'd play with them. We created elaborate stories. For years with my sisters, we'd have the same characters and continue stories day after day, year after year. I'd go to sleep each night planning what might happen the next day.
And then one day while riding around, I began writing what I thought would just be a poem about the character/Barbie that was always mine. And then it becamthe first scene of her story. And then it became my first writing attempt. One day I do hope to finish typing it up for myself, but I know it will only be for myself. There is too much that I'm unwilling to change.
But that is how I began writing.
I can remember how I used to just constantly create stories in my mind.
And I don't really do that anymore. And I miss it.
I have to figure out how to open up my mind again to creating stories and picturing them.
My current WIP (work in progress) is gaping and has so many holes in it that I'm only now seeing, and quite frankly it is freaking me out. I keep wondering if I can fill in the holes enough for it to work.
But this is where I have to just write and see.
And yet, I have to look up. I have to start moving again. I have to start LIVING.
One thing I am struggling with is writing. I've never really had many doubts about writing. Now suddenly I'm consumed with such. It's unnerving. But I have to look past it.
I once read something about writing not always being fun or easy but being right. That is so true. So why have I let myself go with writing so little. Well for one, writing takes a lot of effort. Especially when I end up writing about psycologically heavy issues which is so often. I end up feeling too much. So I allowed myself to pull away.
My mom said she used to try to get me to play with Barbies but I refused, but then whe I did start I became obsessed. I continued playing with them in middle school even. I am greatful for my cousin Tammy for the way we'd play with them. We created elaborate stories. For years with my sisters, we'd have the same characters and continue stories day after day, year after year. I'd go to sleep each night planning what might happen the next day.
And then one day while riding around, I began writing what I thought would just be a poem about the character/Barbie that was always mine. And then it becamthe first scene of her story. And then it became my first writing attempt. One day I do hope to finish typing it up for myself, but I know it will only be for myself. There is too much that I'm unwilling to change.
But that is how I began writing.
I can remember how I used to just constantly create stories in my mind.
And I don't really do that anymore. And I miss it.
I have to figure out how to open up my mind again to creating stories and picturing them.
My current WIP (work in progress) is gaping and has so many holes in it that I'm only now seeing, and quite frankly it is freaking me out. I keep wondering if I can fill in the holes enough for it to work.
But this is where I have to just write and see.
~FREE~ (part 3)
***earlier parts are below in older posts***
So, while this song means a lot to me, I think of my friends who had their freedom stolen from then and the others out there who, even in America, are no where near free. And even if they can escape, they are plagued and face peril if found.
It breaks my heart to know that something I take so for granted is something others may not ever experience.
I can't imagine facing such degredation and threat to my life every minute day after day. I've been blessed beyond messure.
I am free. I know what freedom is.
That is such an amazing thing that I should remind myself of more often.
So, while this song means a lot to me, I think of my friends who had their freedom stolen from then and the others out there who, even in America, are no where near free. And even if they can escape, they are plagued and face peril if found.
It breaks my heart to know that something I take so for granted is something others may not ever experience.
I can't imagine facing such degredation and threat to my life every minute day after day. I've been blessed beyond messure.
I am free. I know what freedom is.
That is such an amazing thing that I should remind myself of more often.
Friday, April 24, 2009
continuation soon
sorry. as passionate as I am about trafficking, somehing's come up and I'm not up to finishing my FREE posts at this time.
For those who share my faith, prayers for my family would be appreciated about now.
T.T.F.N. :-)
For those who share my faith, prayers for my family would be appreciated about now.
T.T.F.N. :-)
Thursday, April 23, 2009
~FREE~ (part 2)
***Part 1 is the previous post below this one. My phone will only allow me to post blogs of certain lengths.***
-------------------------------------------------------------------------"Free" by Ginny Owens-continued-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So when I am consumed by what the world will say,
It's then You're singing to me,
As you remove my chains
"You're free to dance-
Forget about your two left feet
And you're free to sing-
Even joyful noise is music to Me
and you're free to love,
'Cause I've given you My love,
and it's made you free,
Free from worry, free from envy and denial.
Free to live, free to give, free to
smile.
You're free to dance-
Forget about your two left feet
And you're free to sing-
Even joyful noise is music to Me
and you're free to love,
'Cause I've given you My love,
and it's made you free.
Oh, I've given you My love,
and it's made you free.
I have set you free."
-----------------------------------
-------------End of lyrics---------
-----------------------------------
This song pulls at my soul. I'm overweight, unsure, insecure, etc. I love to sing, but don't feel I do well, yet I find myself thrillingly letting my voice soar with the words to this song. The words are so true.
BUT IT ALSO MEANS SO MUCH MORE TO ME.
THE WORDS "FREE" AND "SLAVE" MEAN SO VERY MUCH TO ME.
You see, I have a couple friends who were trafficked. Yes, as in Human Trafficking. Yes, as in modern day slavery. Yes, as in sex slavery.
HUMAN TRAFFICKING happens to all races, in all nations, including to AMERICANS HERE IN AMERICA. Right under our very noses. Atlanta is a city with one of the highest rates of trafficking in the World, for example. Yet we hear about it happening in other countries or only of non-Americans being trafficked in America.
Well, I know differently. And so while in 1 way the above song fills me with joy, it also fills me with such sorrow.
**post continued above in next post**
-------------------------------------------------------------------------"Free" by Ginny Owens-continued-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So when I am consumed by what the world will say,
It's then You're singing to me,
As you remove my chains
"You're free to dance-
Forget about your two left feet
And you're free to sing-
Even joyful noise is music to Me
and you're free to love,
'Cause I've given you My love,
and it's made you free,
Free from worry, free from envy and denial.
Free to live, free to give, free to
smile.
You're free to dance-
Forget about your two left feet
And you're free to sing-
Even joyful noise is music to Me
and you're free to love,
'Cause I've given you My love,
and it's made you free.
Oh, I've given you My love,
and it's made you free.
I have set you free."
-----------------------------------
-------------End of lyrics---------
-----------------------------------
This song pulls at my soul. I'm overweight, unsure, insecure, etc. I love to sing, but don't feel I do well, yet I find myself thrillingly letting my voice soar with the words to this song. The words are so true.
BUT IT ALSO MEANS SO MUCH MORE TO ME.
THE WORDS "FREE" AND "SLAVE" MEAN SO VERY MUCH TO ME.
You see, I have a couple friends who were trafficked. Yes, as in Human Trafficking. Yes, as in modern day slavery. Yes, as in sex slavery.
HUMAN TRAFFICKING happens to all races, in all nations, including to AMERICANS HERE IN AMERICA. Right under our very noses. Atlanta is a city with one of the highest rates of trafficking in the World, for example. Yet we hear about it happening in other countries or only of non-Americans being trafficked in America.
Well, I know differently. And so while in 1 way the above song fills me with joy, it also fills me with such sorrow.
**post continued above in next post**
~FREE~ (part 1)
The 1st part of this post will be a song, but that will lead into me talking about a life issue that I'm most passionate about.
Ginny Owens' album "Without Condition" has to be one of my favorite albums ever! btw I use the less commonly used word "album" because I grew up listening to tapes, then CDs, now MP3s..."album" encompasses all formats. Back to "Without Condition." Few albums do I listen to every song it contains, but this is one of those. The lyrics blow me away. Her voice is sublime. And she has edgy, unusual sounds that I think raise this album well above average! On one song, you can just hear the city around you...it is amazing. One of my favorite songs on this album, for many reasons, is "Free." Here are the lyrics:
-----"Free" by Ginny Owens-----
----------------------------------
----------------------------------
Turning molehills into mountains,
Making big deals out of small ones,
Bearing gifts as if they're burdens,
This is how it's been.
Fear of coming out of my shell,
Too many things I can't do too well,
Afraid I'll try real hard and I'll fail -
This is how it's been.
'Till the day you pounded on my heart's door,
And You shouted joyfully,
"You're not a slave anymore.
You're free to dance-
Forget about your two left feet
And you're free to sing-
Even joyful noise is music to Me
and you're free to love,
'Cause I've given you My love,
and it's made you free.
I have set you free."
My mind finds hard to believe
That You became humanity
and changed the course of history,
Because You loved me so.
And my heart cannot understand
Why You'd accept me as I am,
But You say You've always had a plan,
And that's all I need to know.
----------------------------------*continued on next post (above this one)*
My phone will only let posts be certain lengths, sorry for any confusion.
Ginny Owens' album "Without Condition" has to be one of my favorite albums ever! btw I use the less commonly used word "album" because I grew up listening to tapes, then CDs, now MP3s..."album" encompasses all formats. Back to "Without Condition." Few albums do I listen to every song it contains, but this is one of those. The lyrics blow me away. Her voice is sublime. And she has edgy, unusual sounds that I think raise this album well above average! On one song, you can just hear the city around you...it is amazing. One of my favorite songs on this album, for many reasons, is "Free." Here are the lyrics:
-----"Free" by Ginny Owens-----
----------------------------------
----------------------------------
Turning molehills into mountains,
Making big deals out of small ones,
Bearing gifts as if they're burdens,
This is how it's been.
Fear of coming out of my shell,
Too many things I can't do too well,
Afraid I'll try real hard and I'll fail -
This is how it's been.
'Till the day you pounded on my heart's door,
And You shouted joyfully,
"You're not a slave anymore.
You're free to dance-
Forget about your two left feet
And you're free to sing-
Even joyful noise is music to Me
and you're free to love,
'Cause I've given you My love,
and it's made you free.
I have set you free."
My mind finds hard to believe
That You became humanity
and changed the course of history,
Because You loved me so.
And my heart cannot understand
Why You'd accept me as I am,
But You say You've always had a plan,
And that's all I need to know.
----------------------------------*continued on next post (above this one)*
My phone will only let posts be certain lengths, sorry for any confusion.
Finishing another great book by...
Ruth Axtell Morren.
Let me start off by saying she has a blogspot!
Also, I reccommend reading all but her "Love Inspired" books in order, beginning with Winter Is Past (which, ironically, is the only one I've had yet to read). Her books are stand alones but have recurring characters.
She writes Christian fiction...but...they are amazingly different than the "average" Christian fiction book I've read over the years.
Her characters don't live in a pretty bubble where everything is as it should be and easy. I'm not saying all Christian fiction is like that, just that in my experience, an alarming number of them are.
Lately, due mainly to reading Amanda Quick, I've been drawn to the Regency era (I love history and btw that era does tend to be of popular interest among goths :-P). This is how I found her books. I recently decided to read more Christian fiction, as I've been dealing with an amazing amount of loss and needed that extra spiritual and mental boost. I went through every Heartsong Presents and Love Inspired books I own that take place in that era (btw also check out Kimberly Comeaux's Regency Brides anthology). Unfortunately when I was reading and buying most of my Christian fiction the Regency era wasn't as popular as it now is.
So, I went to the library. Working from Dec '01-Feb '09 at a bookstore enabled me to become quite adept at scanning book spines. That day I managed to find quite a few Regency Christian Fiction including most of Mrs. Morren's books.
Now here comes the GOOD part!!! Her books tackle tough issues with finness and grace while not lessining the importance, her characters are very well developed and multi-faceted, her worlds actually feel real, there is actual passion, temptation and sensuality between the heroes and heroines (thank you Mrs. Morren, as well as Linda Windsor btw, for this detail. Too many Christian Fic books make it seem just so easy to not give into sexual temptation....yeah right). Her books are quite simply endearing.
Check her out, I dare you!
Let me start off by saying she has a blogspot!
Also, I reccommend reading all but her "Love Inspired" books in order, beginning with Winter Is Past (which, ironically, is the only one I've had yet to read). Her books are stand alones but have recurring characters.
She writes Christian fiction...but...they are amazingly different than the "average" Christian fiction book I've read over the years.
Her characters don't live in a pretty bubble where everything is as it should be and easy. I'm not saying all Christian fiction is like that, just that in my experience, an alarming number of them are.
Lately, due mainly to reading Amanda Quick, I've been drawn to the Regency era (I love history and btw that era does tend to be of popular interest among goths :-P). This is how I found her books. I recently decided to read more Christian fiction, as I've been dealing with an amazing amount of loss and needed that extra spiritual and mental boost. I went through every Heartsong Presents and Love Inspired books I own that take place in that era (btw also check out Kimberly Comeaux's Regency Brides anthology). Unfortunately when I was reading and buying most of my Christian fiction the Regency era wasn't as popular as it now is.
So, I went to the library. Working from Dec '01-Feb '09 at a bookstore enabled me to become quite adept at scanning book spines. That day I managed to find quite a few Regency Christian Fiction including most of Mrs. Morren's books.
Now here comes the GOOD part!!! Her books tackle tough issues with finness and grace while not lessining the importance, her characters are very well developed and multi-faceted, her worlds actually feel real, there is actual passion, temptation and sensuality between the heroes and heroines (thank you Mrs. Morren, as well as Linda Windsor btw, for this detail. Too many Christian Fic books make it seem just so easy to not give into sexual temptation....yeah right). Her books are quite simply endearing.
Check her out, I dare you!
"...gotta jealous bone..."
Classic Patty Loveless song btw.
*sighs*
My grandma was snappy with me all yesterday. I couldn't figure out what I did (or didn't) do this time.
It just hit me while my mom and I got into it...
They are jealous. I'm doing something they're not a part of, am having fun without them, and enjoying talking to people besides them.
They are jealous of my writing and the time I'm spending on the net through my cell.
I assume for most writers it is kids or a spouse at least. Am I alone here?
And seriously, how can they complain that I'll never finish a book and then be jealous of my writing and doing writing related things?????
YEESH!!!!!
God preserve my sanity and help me fulfill Your will while not alienating those I love. Please.
*sighs*
My grandma was snappy with me all yesterday. I couldn't figure out what I did (or didn't) do this time.
It just hit me while my mom and I got into it...
They are jealous. I'm doing something they're not a part of, am having fun without them, and enjoying talking to people besides them.
They are jealous of my writing and the time I'm spending on the net through my cell.
I assume for most writers it is kids or a spouse at least. Am I alone here?
And seriously, how can they complain that I'll never finish a book and then be jealous of my writing and doing writing related things?????
YEESH!!!!!
God preserve my sanity and help me fulfill Your will while not alienating those I love. Please.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Writing sleep-deprived
So I only slept maybe a total of 5 hrs after being awake about 40 hours...and yet I'm still awake.
What's worse is I'm writing and this draft of the prologue sounds better than the last (and 1st) draft of the prologue.
I should probably be scared :-)
My eyes are blurry and watering and itchy. I typed the entire thing on this pathetically small Palm Centro keyboard. But I still think it is better than the first draft. Though I know of at least a page more that it needs before I should let my critters (critique group members: Susan, Kelly & Peg) see it. My current WIP (Work In Progress) is tentatively entitled Colorful Shards. The best blurb I have for it thus far is: A battered woman flees her husband to protect herkids, not knowing she may be the greater threat, as a killer seeks to destroy her bloodline.
Anyway, I really want to share it because it has been so long since I've shared any of my writing...but I'm also a tad intimidated. My beautiful and talented critters all basically started out at the same level...in what? 2002? only they have grown while I was stagnant. They are three of the most supportive women I know though, and I wouldn't trade them even for a book deal :-)
What's worse is I'm writing and this draft of the prologue sounds better than the last (and 1st) draft of the prologue.
I should probably be scared :-)
My eyes are blurry and watering and itchy. I typed the entire thing on this pathetically small Palm Centro keyboard. But I still think it is better than the first draft. Though I know of at least a page more that it needs before I should let my critters (critique group members: Susan, Kelly & Peg) see it. My current WIP (Work In Progress) is tentatively entitled Colorful Shards. The best blurb I have for it thus far is: A battered woman flees her husband to protect herkids, not knowing she may be the greater threat, as a killer seeks to destroy her bloodline.
Anyway, I really want to share it because it has been so long since I've shared any of my writing...but I'm also a tad intimidated. My beautiful and talented critters all basically started out at the same level...in what? 2002? only they have grown while I was stagnant. They are three of the most supportive women I know though, and I wouldn't trade them even for a book deal :-)
And so it begins...
The posturing and trying to impress you with my literary excellence...
Ha. This is not such a place.
Just to be fair and warn you ahead of time :-)
Ha. This is not such a place.
Just to be fair and warn you ahead of time :-)
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